Tuning Out the Static
Ivy Griffin
As HSPs, we can pick up on subtleties in our environments and the feelings of others. We may have received reinforcement from our families or the wider cultures we grew up in for being able to anticipate the needs, feelings, and desires of others. We may have even been punished in some way for not knowing others’ needs and living up to their expectations. All of this to say that we can often feel flooded by the noise of others’ needs and priorities in the form of what I like to call “static”.
Static can get in the way of us knowing and responding to our own needs and priorities. Static can take the form of:
Feeling anxious about the needs and expectations of others
Worrying about someone’s reaction to us
Feeling a strong desire to resolve tension in our interactions with others
The strong desire to please, fix, explain ourselves to, or comfort others
It takes a lot of mental, physical, and emotional energy to deal with static and the more of it we experience, the less energy we have to deal with our own stuff. We may eventually start to experience a shortened fuse, burnout, and increased physical tension. So how do we start to tune out the static?
Tuning out the static is about creating time and space to tune into our own feelings, needs, and priorities. We can do this by:
Prioritizing time for quiet reflection in the form of journaling, walks, meditation, or talking with a good listener who won’t try to give us advice
Telling people we need time to think about something instead of giving in to the urge to give them an answer on the spot. If they press you, calmly tell them “This is important so I’d like to give it some thought.”
Asking ourselves on a regular basis “What feels most important to me at this moment?”
Reminding ourselves that others are capable of and may actually benefit from solving their own dilemmas
Tuning out the static is about not abandoning ourselves in service of others (something many of us are taught to do). It’s very much about tuning into ourselves and making ourselves as much of a priority as we make others. This can help us to establish and maintain a healthier balance in our lives.
If you’d like help tuning back into yourself, please feel free to reach out!
With warm regards,
Ileana Arganda-Stevens, AMFT #99821
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714
Clinical Lead
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
916-287-3430
thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/ileana-arganda
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