Stopping the Cycle of Overwhelm
Ivy Griffin
It’s all well and good to bust out your arsenal of coping tools when you’re already overwhelmed, but how do we lessen our chances of being overwhelmed in the first place?
As HSPs, our urges to please others, make their lives easier, and keep things calm can be quite strong. We will do almost anything to maintain peace and harmony in our environment. But sometimes this can come at the expense of our own well-being and we find ourselves exhausted, stressed out and depleted.
How do we interrupt this cycle?
Pause before saying yes: Sometimes, I find myself on automatic pilot saying “yes”, “sure” or “that’s okay” to stuff that I don’t actually want to do or have the energy for. You don’t owe anyone an immediate answer. Take your time to check in with yourself and see if this is something you can do and want to do. Say “Let me think about it and get back to you” or “Let me check my schedule.”
Put parameters around what you’re willing to give: Even if you feel enthusiastic and willing, practice putting limits on the time and energy you expend on others. The next time you want to say “yes” to someone, try saying something like “Sure, I’m available from (time) to (time) on (specific day).” If they say that won’t work for them, you can say “Okay, well let me know if anything changes.”
Write it out: Sometimes we have trouble setting boundaries because we’re uncertain of what our limits are and what we’d like to say. In these instances, it can be helpful to craft a thoughtful email (instead of speaking with the person) or write yourself a script that you can refer back to while you’re speaking with the other person.
Be mindful of your breaks: Schedule time for yourself so you have things to look forward to, unplug during the day and spend a few minutes (or longer) in silence or listening to calming sounds, give yourself time to wake up and wind down at the start and end of the day, surround yourself with sights, sounds, and scents that bring you peace.
Lastly, remind yourself of your personal rights: It can be helpful to remind ourselves that we have a right to say no at any time without explanation, that we have to balance our needs with the needs of others, that we don’t owe anyone a “yes”, and that we have a right to spend our time and energy on endeavors and relationships that feel meaningful and fulfilling.
Being mindful is part of a healthy lifestyle for all people but HSPs need to be especially mindful of how we use our precious energy. Managing overwhelm is as much about prevention as it is about responding to it once it’s already underway. Trying some of these tips may help you to break the cycle of overwhelm and burnout that can be so common among HSPs. If you find you’re needing more support, don’t hesitate to reach out!
Best wishes,
Ileana Arganda-Stevens, AMFT #99821
she/hers
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
916-287-3430
thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/ileana-arganda