How to Quit Equating Self-Worth With Net Worth
Ivy Griffin
Throughout my time in private practice, I have come to notice a theme amongst my clients around their self-worth. More specifically, what it is tied to, which tends to be their productivity and net worth. I heard a quote once that really resonated with me and it stated that most people these days “wear their burnout like a badge of honor”. I am not sure about you, but that is not a badge I would like to earn (former girl scout speaking here) and it pains me to know how many of us do this so consciously and willingly. When people equate their net worth with their self-worth, I have witnessed a plethora of mental health issues including difficulty being present, sitting with oneself and struggles with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Looking back on where this messaging may have begun is subjective to every person. However, what I have found to be most commonplace are the messages we were raised with (get good grades, get into college, obtain a job with benefits and a retirement plan) paired with the societal pressures we are asked to meet in order to be successful and gain acceptance from others.
So, in order to begin re-writing this narrative, I challenge you to:
Explore what your values are (i.e. autonomy, creativity, growth, health, purpose)
Reflect on how your actions can align with your values in order to evoke a more fulfilling, authentic sense of self-worth and success. (i.e. working in your garden, baking cookies, creating art or more collective causes such as volunteering in your community, teaching a class, coaching a team)
Stop wondering and start wandering! There are so many wonderful things to experience in life and you may not know what speaks to and honors your values until you get out there and try!
For those who would like help separating their self-worth from net worth, therapy can be a great support. Through therapy, you can learn how to be more present, gain tools on how to sit with yourself, and process all of the struggles that may come with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem instead of relying on your “productivity” to lift you up. Don’t get me wrong, this is a lot of hard-wired messaging to combat and it may not be something you want to do alone. Therefore, if you are feeling inclined to quit wearing your burn out like a badge of honor, do not hesitate to reach out to us at Thrive!
Warmly,
Carly Kubochi, AMFT #102737
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714.
https://thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/carly-kubochi
916-287-3430