Identifying Negative Core Beliefs

Something I hear a lot from clients who have sought therapy, is that it took them a long time to decide to go for it. This can be for many reasons (bad past experiences in therapy, stigma around mental health, anxiety around diving into painful emotions etc.) but it is often born out of uncertainty that the issues they wish to address are actually changeable. The sense of a problem being unbeatable is often due to people logically understanding the issue they are having, but they still cannot seem to stop it. This situation leads people to ask: “What would a therapist really be able to help me with? I already know what my problem is and how it came about.”

This is where the deeper work in therapy begins. When a client demonstrates insight into their problems, has tried to change it, and still feels stuck, I know that we are likely facing negative core beliefs.  A common symptom of negative core beliefs is understanding an issue logically but emotionally feeling as though the logic is not believable. 

An example of this might be: “I know that I am capable at my job, I work hard and produce good results, but there is this nagging feeling that somehow it is not quite enough. I find I am second guessing my abilities and performance and avoid asking for a pay raise even though logically, I can see that I deserve one.”   

In many instances people will brush off this sort of scenario as just a normal bit of doubt. One of the best ways to recognize negative core beliefs vs. doubt is when our logical mind and emotional mind are not seeing eye to eye. If I am second-guessing my work performance but find that logically examining the situation (e.g. I have great reviews from my boss, I am always prompt and organized, I work hard etc.) makes me feel better and allows me to feel confident, that tells me that my logical and emotional mind are in-sync. Unfortunately, there are many people who go through this scenario and see all the logical reasons they are a good employee, but still have a nagging feeling of inadequacy. 

Negative core beliefs often begin to develop when we are quite young and are fostered and reinforced by our environment. Negative core beliefs can look like many different things such as:

• I am not enough 

• I am a burden 

• I am too much

• I am unlovable 

• I don’t fit in 

• I have to be perfect

• I am a fraud

These beliefs can be changed and readjusted but it requires recognizing them for what they are. Rather than just trying to “logic” one’s way out of the belief/ feeling, they will likely have to dive into the emotions that are fueling the negative core belief and resolve those to experience change. Diving into emotions is daunting and diving into a feeling associated with a negative core belief can be flat out terrifying. This is where having the safe supportive space of therapy is so important. 

Overcoming negative core beliefs is something that is very difficult to do on your own due to the fact that the belief is generally very deeply tied to identity and again, will not change through logical thought. Through therapy you have a guide who can challenge these beliefs and walk you into the emotions and feelings that are holding you back from disconnecting from the negative core belief. There are also particular therapy modalities that can be especially helpful for targeting negative core beliefs including Brainspotting and the Cognitive Resourcing Model (CRM). Ultimately, negative core beliefs are incredibly common and despite them being deeply rooted and challenging they can be transplanted with positive and realistic beliefs about oneself. 

In my next blog, I will address the development and purpose of negative core beliefs.

Best,

Paige Roberts, LMFT#129525

Thrive Therapy & Counseling Offices:

2131 Capitol Ave., Ste. 206                       

Sacramento, CA 95816                

916-287-3430