Supporting Your Teen Through Heartbreak
Ivy Griffin
As a parent, watching your teenager go through a breakup can be heart-wrenching. You want to help, but it’s not clear how to best reach them. It’s important to understand that adolescence is a time of intense emotions which is why a first breakup can feel like the end of the world. Parents play a crucial role in helping teens navigate this challenging time. So, what can you do?
Listen Without Judgment: One of the most impactful things you can do is simply listen. Your first instinct might be to offer advice or try to fix things – resist that urge!
Find a quiet moment (maybe over ice cream or boba) and ask, “Want to talk about it?”
Resist the urge to say “You’ll get over it” or “There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”
If they are closed off, don’t push. You can gently say, “I’m here when you need me.”
Validation: When your teen is opening up, avoid the need to problem solve and fix the emotions. Empathy is the most powerful tool. You can try:
“That sounds really tough. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
“It’s okay to feel sad/angry/confused right now.”
Share (Appropriately): If you feel it can be helpful, you might share a story about your own experience with heartbreak.
Normalize Grief: Help your teen understand that what they’re experiencing is normal:
Stages of Grief: Explain that breakups can follow the grieving process similar to other losses (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)
Remind them that healing isn’t linear. They might feel better one day and worse the next, AND that’s okay.
Self-Care: Encourage some self-care strategies, but remember, you’re not forcing them - you’re just making suggestions:
Suggest a movie night with their favorite snacks.
Encourage them to hang out with friends (if they’re ready)
Introduce them to journaling or art as a way to express themselves
Get them moving – exercise is a natural mood booster!
Supporting a heartbroken teen can be emotionally draining. Remember to also take care of yourself too. You’re doing great by just being there and caring. This shall pass, for both of you!
With warm regards,
Mohinee Sharma, AMFT #141615, APCC #14625
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT