For any teen, struggling with depression can be overwhelming, and figuring out how to talk to people about it can be daunting. It’s common for anyone struggling with depression to avoid talking to their support system because they are worried about loved ones either overreacting, or being dismissive.
Facing depression alone can intensify feelings of loneliness and isolation making the depression worsen, so identifying trusted supports are key. A trusted support might be a specific parent, teacher, friend or mentor that you feel comfortable opening up to and feel has an ability to be calm, positive and supportive. Don’t be scared to directly state what you need from that person in the start of the conversation i.e., “I just need you to listen,” or “I just need to get this off my chest,” et cetera.
As a therapist I recognize that not everyone is fortunate enough to have trusted supports in their life, or be at a place where they are ready or comfortable to open up. If that is the case, I encourage you to find a space and a method to let out and express things that you’re struggling with in a way that feels authentic for you. Some things to try might be
Find an outlet that fits you and your interests in life. If you feel ready to talk to someone, but don’t feel comfortable confiding in someone currently in your life you might consider giving therapy a try - Therapists are trained to be non-judgmental objective third parties. In case your depression happens to be more severe and you are struggling with self harm or suicidal thoughts you can text or call 988 to be connected with real time professional support.
Warmly,
Megan Bell LMFT #114303
she/her
Have you been finding it hard to motivate yourself to go to and stay in school? More than just your typical I don't want to, because let's keep it real, school isn't always the most fun place to be. If this speaks to you, you are not alone! This experience is called school refusal. School refusal is when a teenager or any school-aged person, consistently refuses to go to school or has difficulty staying in school for the full day. It goes beyond occasional truancy or wanting to skip class occasionally. It often involves intense emotional distress or anxiety related to attending school. This distress can manifest in physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or other complaints.
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Dear parents,
Here are answers to more frequently asked questions that often pop up for parents searching for services for their child/teen. I hope these insights can help you as you begin sussing out what you are looking for therapeutically.
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There’s an app for just about everything at this point so it should come as no surprise that there are apps for venting. When it comes to our teens, the idea of letting them venture into yet another unknown social media realm can feel daunting. So here are a few things to keep in mind if your teen asks to download a venting app, or shares that they have.
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Perhaps you have considered medication for your teen or perhaps someone else suggested it might be worth looking into. And maybe on this subject your feelings are mixed, or you have historically been hesitant to consider the idea. I encourage you to explore and consider your resistance- where does it stem from? Was it a bad personal experience, a horror story about a friend or family member that tried, or is it a lack of knowledge on the subject?
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There are many factors to consider when thinking about teen substance use, such as which substances are being used, the environment in which they are used, frequency, and possibly most importantly, the reason they are being used. All of these factors are interrelated and thus must be considered together when trying to understand substance use. For the purposes of this blog however, the focus will be on understanding why teens may use substances and how this impacts development.
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Have you noticed a shift in your teens' day-to-day routine and mood? Getting them out the door for school may feel like the same battle each morning as they tearfully beg you to let them stay home again. You may have noticed your teen is increasingly holed up in their room uninterested in hanging out with friends or more reluctant than usual to join the family. Or maybe you’ve heard your frustrated teen complain about being unable to get to sleep, furthering the challenge of getting them moving in the morning. These behaviors may be signs of underlying anxiety that leave you feeling helpless and desperate for solutions to help get your child feeling like themselves again. If so, here are a few tools for supporting your teen through anxiety…
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Throughout my time in this field, more specifically through my work with teens over the years, I have come to notice the most cyclical struggle that continues to emerge as time goes on is lack of confidence. I tend to see a lot of over-caring what people think in conjunction with wanting to impress others. That being said, I thought I’d take this time to first share what I think are contributing factors to this (sometimes lifelong) dilemma, as well as some tips and tricks on what I feel have been most useful in getting teens out of that funk.
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Is there someone in your life who saw you and could show you the gem that you inherently hold? This is one of the basic needs we experience as human beings. It's natural and normal to want to be surrounded by people who can hold us in a safe and compassionate space. It's deeply imperative for our self development as we continually learn through observing the folks around us (i.e. our parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors, etc). They show us their views and values, what's “acceptable'' or not and how they treat others and how they accept treatment. We begin to interpret this as our truths and frame our way of seeing the world.
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Self-harm is a scary and uncomfortable topic that is often kept hidden and seen as a shameful secret or as a dramatic attention seeking behavior. However, the more this issue is kept hidden and seen as shameful the longer it is able to persist and go untreated.
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As a therapist, I often hear parents express that their teen is not as happy as they used to be. I repeatedly hear “they are just being a hormonal teenager.” Hormones definitely do play a part when it comes to teenagers' moods. However, being a teen can be really tough at times and several different circumstances can impact their happiness. Studies show that it is very important for teens to experience happiness for their future well-being as adults.
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Have you noticed that your teen has been struggling with their busy schedule? Have you observed your teen feeling overwhelmed and frustrated because they have a lot on their plate? Have you recognized that your teen is neglecting their daily needs in order to keep up with their busy lives? Teaching our teens how to balance a busy schedule while prioritizing their needs can help lead our teens to become successful and healthy individuals.
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Let’s be honest, navigating life as a teenager isn’t easy. Trying to figure out what makes you unique, while also finding a community you feel you belong to, is a heavy burden most of us face at some point in our lives. Our society mirrors and is modeled after the concept of human “doers''. If you’re wondering what that means, well let me try to break that down for you.
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Teens are constantly comparing themselves to unrealistic expectations of beauty. They have images of flawless people that are portrayed everywhere they look in social media, TV, movies, and magazines. They don’t think about the fact that the majority of these “flawless people” people have gone through plastic surgery and have their photos airbrushed and photo-shopped in order for them to appear so perfect. Instead, teens are asking themselves questions like “Why do I not look perfect like them?” and “What can I do to look just as beautiful?” They might even start assuming, “I’m so ugly and disgusting! Why can’t I be pretty too?” These comparisons and high expectations can lead teens to believe that making changes in their lives like dieting or skipping meals or buying every beauty product imaginable can lead them closer to looking like the beautiful, thin, seemingly perfect, rich and famous people being portrayed to them every day.
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We all know that relationships between teens and their parents, guardians, or any authority figure can be trying. The ways adolescents’ brains are changing and developing (more so than at any other time except ages 0-5) and the ways their identities are forming can naturally put them at odds with parents and authority figures. They’re beginning to think abstractly, question why, and challenge what they don’t agree with. This doesn’t make setting and holding rules and boundaries easy for any adult.
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