As you prepare for the onslaught of holiday cheer, I want you to sit with me here and just take a moment for yourself; to breathe, and to be. Slowly breathe in and out. And as you slowly breathe in I want you to call to mind a stress or worry on your shoulders . . .
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Don't get me wrong; I like the holidays. Or at least most of what the holidays are about. But sometimes they can be somewhat overwhelming. I like Christmas music, but hearing it everywhere 24/7 for two months is too much for me. I also like holiday parties. But seven family gatherings, five friend parties and three work shebangs in one month can weigh me down.
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Imagine that you’re at a party or gathering at a friend’s house. As a highly sensitive person, you may have felt some anxiety or dread about going to the party and having to make small talk. Some of the folks in attendance are friends, and you gravitate toward talking to them. But, you notice a couple of people who hang back and don’t seem to know many others. Your empathy kicks in, and you decide to go chat with them to help them feel more welcome. While you’re talking, another person or two joins in the conversation and brings up a political issue you care about deeply. As you passionately discuss the matter, you add in how you cannot understand anyone who thinks otherwise. The person you initially approached quietly says, “I disagree” and wanders away.
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People who are highly sensitive or attuned to their environment can experience changes in weather, light, and energy very intensely. In the past few months, the days have gotten shorter, colder, and we may have even noticed a general shift in energy all around us. This can be a welcome change for some and more difficult for others, especially when the expectations we feel don’t match up with the energy we have to deal with them.
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How many times have you said, “this year I’m going to start preparing for the holidays early,” only to see mid-December roll around and have nothing done? You are not alone! Most of us are so busy throughout the year that we’ve broken that promise over and over again. Then, inevitably, the stress level raises and we rush through the holiday season, documenting memories through social media posts, and completely missing out on being fully present with our family and friends. Suddenly, Valentine’s Day is upon us and we shake our heads in disbelief that yet again that ‘special and magical’ time of year passed us by.
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Just mentioning the “holiday season” evokes strong reactions in a lot of folks . . . although those reactions can vary A LOT. Some people instantly appear overcome with wonder and awe and excitement and speak only of joy and good times. (The rest of us stare at them in disgust. Just kidding! It’s just that the holidays are more complicated for many people.) For some, referencing the Christmas/Hanukah/ Kwanza/New Year’s holidays brings a heavy sigh, “Ughhhh, so much to do” or “sooo much dealing with family.” For others still, this time of year brings up deep sadness and loss—perhaps loved ones are gone or relationships have ended or they’ve never gotten to experience any version of the movie/greeting card “magic” of the season and they grieve what they haven’t had.
This blog is for all of you who don’t fall into that 1st category.
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