Do you find yourself getting stuck in repetitive thoughts or behaviors? Can you spiral about an interaction from the past or the future? Do you find yourself compulsively checking your phone or email, even though you’re not expecting anything in particular? You might blame anxiety or boredom, but would it surprise you to know that sometimes our coping mechanisms actually feed into anxiety?
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“I want to relax but I feel constantly anxious, like the other shoe is about to drop.”
Hypervigilance can be draining and painful and sometimes makes us feel hopeless. We long for respite from the constant physical tension and the marathon of thoughts running through our heads. How do we swap our experiences of frequent anxiety and fleeting calm for more frequent calm and fleeting anxiety?
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“I am so tired but I can’t sleep.”
“Sometimes I don’t realize how tense I am until something starts to hurt.”
“I feel like I’m ALWAYS planning, always trying to anticipate the next thing.”
Simultaneous exhaustion and nervous energy are common experiences for people who struggle with feelings of anxiety. You desperately want to relax but your body and mind just can’t let go. We think to ourselves “If I could just plan enough, do enough, be enough, THEN I can relax.” But this rarely ever happens. How do we get out of this cycle so we can rest?
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“What if I mess up?” “What if I can’t handle this situation?” “What if I’m rejected?” Phew! Thinking about all the “What-ifs” can be EXHAUSTING! It’s like our fears and insecurities are tapping on our shoulders saying “Hey, HEY, HEY!!!”. They want our attention and won’t let up until we find some way of addressing the issue or some other way to escape. The problem is, escaping or avoiding the what-ifs often prolongs our anxiety and may even cause it to build. How do we find relief?
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Happy New Year, dear HSPs! I wish you all the best that this year can bring, even as I know that we continue to live in a difficult time. As we embark on 2021, we may have conflicting feelings of hope, frustration, overwhelm, uncertainty, anger, excitement, or even despair. While there are some indicators of change for the coming year, there’s still a LOT we don’t know and can’t really plan for.
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