Needing Things to Look Forward to
Ivy Griffin
We all know what a difficult year this has been. Our lives have changed in some ways we didn’t even realize was possible, our privilege or reminders of our lack thereof have been revealed over and over again, and the losses continue to add up. As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we may feel grief, confusion, anger, disappointment, frustration, sadness, disgust, overwhelm, and heartbreak. It’s a lot to cope with, and of course, we feel all of this very deeply and intensely.
Not only do we need outlets and ways to release these emotions as they build, but we also need escapes from the heaviness and weight of it all. We still need to experience times of joy and positivity in our lives. Such breaks are not to discredit or downplay what’s happening in the world around us, but taking time to enjoy life can rejuvenize us, give us meaning and purpose, and energize us to move forward. Everyone needs some balance in their lives, and this is especially true for us sensitive souls.
We benefit deeply from having things to look forward to. Often, we create this experience of anticipating something positive without even thinking about it--looking forward to curling up on the couch with that great book we’re reading and a cup of hot tea, smiling when we think about our plans to see a friend, counting down the days until vacation. In psychology, there’s this idea of savoring--focusing on all the details of an enjoyable experience and really appreciating each aspect of it to help increase happiness. Savoring can mean being mindful while a positive moment is occurring, it can mean taking time to remember and appreciate something after it’s happened, or it can mean anticipating what we will enjoy about an event that hasn’t happened yet.
The catch is that many of the things we normally look forward to may not be options right now. We may really feel that loss. And, as HSPs, we might take a lot of comfort from routine and feel disoriented or overwhelmed when we’re thrown off course.
Yet there’s good news--we sensitive ones are also really good at getting creative, putting careful thought into things, and coming up with new solutions.
Here are ideas for somewhat different things you might look forward to in this winter season, or I invite you to come up with a great list of your own! (I’d love to hear your thoughts!)
Bake cookies and leave them on loved ones porches, perhaps coordinating a socially distanced hangout during the drop off, or even turn it into a cookie exchange where you leave cookies for others and pick up their homemade cookies for munching on at home
Take a walk at a park you haven’t visited before or haven’t been to in a while
Drive around after dark to look at holiday lights while you sip hot cocoa or cider
Schedule a virtual game night with friends. Yahtzee (can download a free dice app and print out a score card and trivia can be easy low tech options. Old school board game favs like Life, Clue, Battleship or Monopoly can be purchased for online play with friends or the Charades app can be fun (just turn off or cover up your video when you’re guessing to keep from cheating ;) ). Even some childhood games like 20 questions (having to guess an item someone is thinking of by asking 20 or less yes/no questions) or 2 Truths and a Lie (guessing which is the lie) can bring on the laughs and bonding with friends and family. There are tons of options, and with a few minutes of googling, you can probably find something you’re into.
Work your way through reading the best books (or listening to the best music) of this year or of the last decade. Set up a fav cozy spot with blanket, beverage or snack, and furry friend in tow.
Coordinate a virtual gift exchange. Take that in-person white elephant to the online sphere! People pick out their gifts in advance, send a picture or web link of the gift to the host who assigns each gift a number. When everyone gathers on Zoom, the host draws people’s names, and the first person gets gift #1, the second person gets to choose if they want to “steal” gift #1 or “open” (i.e. reveal) gift #2, and so on. After the virtual hangout, gifts can be shipped or dropped off on porches.
Indulge your senses every day. This could be anything from listening to music you love to enjoying the smell of your dinner in the oven to going for a walk to soak up the sunshine or appreciate the natural beauty around you. This might even mean looking through old photos, watching Planet Earth, playing your guitar, or enjoying the feel of your best fuzzy socks.
Try out a new hobby or dive deeper into a current hobby. Lots of time at home with shorter daylight hours might be a good time to finally get around to picking up some watercolor paints and practicing with a YouTube tutorial or getting that beginner knitting kit. Maybe cook a more difficult recipe than you would normally select, try growing some windowsill herbs, or practice your Sudoku skills
Plan a virtual dinner party. Pick the recipe for you and your friends or family to make, so you can all shop for ingredients. Then, at the appointed time, hop on Zoom or FaceTime in the kitchen while you prep and saute and sip that cocktail, and then sit down to enjoy your efforts with good conversation and wine to top it off.
Looking for something more structured? Host a virtual murder mystery! Invite your peeps, assign characters, and everyone can get dressed up to work together to solve who dunnit. More virtual options are becoming available.
Set aside time regularly to journal (If you’re stumped, google some good journaling prompts.) to make this a time of self-reflection or finally get around to exploring your interest in creative writing. Slow down, and enjoy what stories you may weave.
Refresh your space, and redecorate. Paint a room a new color, hang up some different art, rearrange your furniture. It can be fun to have a project to focus on and rewarding to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Now, pick something that perks you up or makes your heart happy, and put it on your calendar! It can be something you can do today or something you’ll be planning for 3 weeks from now. It doesn’t matter. The key is to pick what excites or energizes you, AND plan it. Look forward to it. Savor it. Then, do it again. And again. I bet you’ll be glad you did.
Keep hanging in there, dear sensitive ones,
Ivy
Ivy Griffin, LMFT # 51714, Director
she/hers
hello@thrivetherapyandcounseling.com
916-287-3430