Self-Awareness and Self-Advocacy
Ivy Griffin
As HSPs, we may feel as though the world is constantly acting upon us, like we have no control over anything and we’re completely overwhelmed. When we’re highly attuned to our environment and the people around us, there is a lot of information coming in on a regular basis. That’s why it is so important for people who are highly sensitive to use the tools at our disposal to create a sense of balance and satisfaction in our lives.
The first tool at our disposal is very powerful and it’s self-awareness. As HSPs are highly aware of the external environment, emotions and needs of others, it can help to create more balance in our lives when we build our awareness of our own needs and emotions. How do we do this?
Set aside a few minutes to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself “How am I feeling?” Whatever the answer, respond to yourself with curiosity and compassion. You might also say to yourself “What’s contributing to this feeling?” and “That’s so understandable.”
Use the same process to ask yourself “What do I need?” Start with things that you can provide for yourself like reassurance, quiet time to rest, self-care, a peaceful environment.
If we find that we are needing something from someone else, the second tool at our disposal is self-advocacy. Utilize the process described above to discern what exactly you are needing from this person. Are you needing to schedule time off with your boss or a teacher? Perhaps you’re needing to speak with a loved one about a hurtful interaction. Or perhaps you’re needing quality time with someone you care about.
Self-advocacy can be difficult because we worry about the impact our requests will have on the other person or the relationship. A good reminder is that we have personal rights to say no, make a request of someone, and change our minds about things. We cannot control the other person’s response, all we can control is how we respond to ourselves. Regardless of the other person’s response, we can commit to speaking to ourselves kindly afterward and reminding ourselves that self-advocacy is good for us and our relationships, and healthy relationships will be able to tolerate that.
If you’d like some help improving your self-awareness and self-advocacy skills, the therapists at Thrive are here to help. Please don’t hesitate to reach out!
All the best,
Ileana Arganda-Stevens, AMFT #99821
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
916-287-3430
thrivetherapyandcounseling.com/ileana-arganda
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