All-or-Nothing Thinking
Ivy Griffin
Despite our best efforts to be rational and reasonable thinkers, many of us fall into the trap of thinking mistakes, also known as cognitive distortions. There are a number of common cognitive distortions that most people make, one of them being Black and White / All-or-Nothing Thinking. This is when you believe that only one thing can be true to the exclusion of all else. It’s believing that there is only one truth and leaving no space for other options, opinions, or thoughts.
Examples of Black and White thinking:
“If I don’t get an A on this test, I have failed.”
“If things didn't go exactly to plan it was all a waste.”
“If I am not perfect, I am a total failure.”
“If I ask for help then I am dependent and helpless.”
“I am right and you are wrong.”
It is healthy to move away from this all-or-nothing thinking, and instead think dialectically. Dialectical thinking is recognizing that two seemingly opposite things can be true at the same time.
Examples of dialectical thinking:
You can be independent and still need help.
You can accept things as they are and still want change.
You can regulate your emotions and still experience your emotions.
You can love someone and be incredibly angry with them.
You can want to do better and still give yourself credit for what you have done.
You can have very opinions from me and still be a good person.
Dialectical thinking reminds us that there is always more than one way to see a situation and it keeps us open minded. By leaving space for multiple truths we can be more effective in arguments as well as in problem solving. Dialectics lets us understand that different perspectives can coexist and it lets us give credit where it is due, while still pushing ourselves to try harder.
For further tips on thinking and acting dialectically stay tuned for future blog posts!
Warmly,
Paige Roberts, AMFT # 115728
Supervised by Ivy Griffin, LMFT #51714
Thrive Therapy & Counseling
1614 X St., Suite A
Sacramento, CA 95818
916-287-0884