There can be so much anxiety when interacting with medical professionals. We wait weeks, maybe even months for an appointment, and the second we get in the room it can feel like all the air has left the space, and we might feel ourselves shrinking and pulling in. The second they start to speak it can feel like all our well grounded points and concerns were a house of cards and we have trouble asserting ourselves due to nerves or anxiety. For many this ends in deferring to the authority of the professional in the room, even if we don’t agree. When we leave we might be left feeling unheard, dissatisfied and sometimes even gaslit.
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For effective communication, it is often advised to use “I” statements. “I” statements are pretty much exactly what they sound like - they comprise a way of communicating that focuses on the thoughts and feelings of the person speaking, rather than the person listening. For example, someone might say “I feel disappointed when you cancel plans with me” rather than “Why can’t you ever follow through on your promises! You’re always flaking on me”. The former phrase allows for accountability for one’s own experience, while the latter incites blame and criticism, which are not helpful in interpersonal conversations.
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I LOVE this notion. And, it’s often so necessary for HSPs. We can struggle with our ability to state what we want and need in ways that others hear and respond to. Catch that? This is about helping other people understand and accurately respond to our requests (which—by the way—helps build secure attachment, but that’s an article for another day :)).
Take this conversation, for example:
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