“What’s wrong with me?!” “This should be easier!” “I shouldn’t feel this way!” Sound familiar? Even if you’re not aware that you tell yourself these things, you might be familiar with the feelings they bring up: frustration, exasperation, anxiety, disappointment, hopelessness. They all share the same basic belief – I am not good enough. When we struggle, sometimes we’re hard on ourselves for struggling; we want to rush through uncomfortable feelings and be done with them! Little do we know, our effort to rid ourselves of these uncomfortable feelings might be making them more intense!
Read More
One of the hardest things we can experience in life is the realization that a relationship is not working out. I’m not just referring to romantic relationships but our relationships with friends and family as well. You’ve tried your best to communicate with the person, you may have even sought therapy for yourself or as a pair to try and resolve your struggles, but things just aren’t getting better. Or, if things do get better, it’s only for a short while and before you know it, you’re back to feeling anxious about talking with them, frustrated at not being listened to, or saddened that you’re just not able to be yourself around them.
Read More
For most of us, self-compassion does not come easily. We more commonly speak to ourselves with self-criticism, often learned early in life from our caregivers, school, and our hyper-individualistic and competitive society. We believe that if we criticize ourselves, we will protect ourselves from being criticized and judged by others. We aim to be perfect so that we can feel safe. In reality, self-criticism only exacerbates suffering.
Read More
Have you ever stopped and really paid attention to the thoughts running through your head? Ever really listened to what your thoughts say to you about you? Notice how it can feel like you have the harshest critic in the world living in your own head? Our thoughts can be total jerks! As human beings, we have this tendency to talk to ourselves in ways we would never dream of speaking to anyone else, and this is especially true for us HSPs (highly sensitive people).
Read More
So, one of the best things we can do for our teens is to help them learn to be kind to themselves. Such kindness can be referred to as self-compassion, and there’s now a chunk of research that shows that self-compassion is really effective in helping people feel better and be happier. In fact, it’s argued that self-compassion is even more helpful than self-esteem, which requires us to rate ourselves and our abilities. Self-compassion, on the other hand, is the recognition that we all deserve kindness and caring just because we’re alive. It’s not earned; it’s a basic right.
Where do we start?
Read More