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2131 Capitol Ave. Ste 206
Sacramento, CA 95816
US

916-287-3430

Thrive Therapy & Counseling provides high quality therapy to Highly Sensitive People and to kids, teens or adults struggling with anxiety, depression or self-esteem.

Blog

This blog is written by a therapist in midtown Sacramento and focuses on the concerns and struggles of highly sensitive people (HSPs) and of kids, teens and adults struggling with depression, anxiety or just trying to figure out what they want for themselves.  There's help and hope through counseling and therapy!

Filtering by Author: Ivy Griffin

Finding Strength in Hard Times

Ivy Griffin

We are living through extremely difficult times right now. Stress, fear, anxiety, and animosity seem to be at an all-time high. The news cycle can be overwhelming and yet, we can’t tear ourselves away. What is the best way to respond in times like this? Should we be watching more or less news? Following social media or turning off our phones completely? Donating time and money to worthy causes? What is the answer and how can we do it in a way that isn’t completely exhausting?

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Navigating Teen Identity Exploration

Ivy Griffin

As a parent, watching your teen begin the complex journey of self-discovery and identity development can feel like an emotional roller coaster. At times you may feel at odds with their means of self-expression or find it challenging to broach the conversation about identity with your teen who feels more resistant to opening up than ever before. Finding the balance between respecting your teens' unique journey and desire for greater independence with guidance and support can feel like an impossible juggling act!

Here are some tips for supporting your teen:

1.  Practicing curiosity in place of judgment.

When your teen unexpectedly walks through the door with brightly colored hair, your initial range of feelings may include shock, disapproval, or even anger. “Why would you do that? or “You look ridiculous!” may sound like familiar first reactions you’ve had?

Instead, start by taking a deep breath. Keep in mind that experimentation is a developmentally appropriate and expected component of adolescence. Rather than beginning with judgment or disapproval, try approaching your teen from a place of curiosity. Show genuine interest and inquire about what motivated the change: “Tell me about what inspired you?” or “How are YOU feeling about this new look?”. This approach allows you to gain insight into their world and strengthen your connection. Remember, they're likely already receiving plenty of judgment from peers, so creating a safe haven where they can be themselves is invaluable.

Likewise, when it comes to beliefs, respect their exploration of different ideas and worldviews. Engage in conversations where you listen more than you speak, and if you have differing beliefs, try to maintain an open, curious, and non-confrontational dialogue. This will help your teen feel that their identity is respected, even if it differs from your own. 

2. Lean into conversation.

Sometimes our best intentions are less supportive than we anticipated. Remarks like “I don’t care how my child expresses themselves” or “I support whatever identity they choose” may feel dismissive and do not always leave room for supporting or understanding our teens' experience. Instead, practice leaning into conversation to listen and to learn. Conversation is a powerful tool for conveying your support and investing time in your teen's development. This not only shows that you care about their experiences but also helps them better understand themselves. 

3. Be patient and flexible.

Because identity development is a fluid and evolving journey, it's normal to see your teen try many different forms of expression, some of which will stick, while others may be fleeting. As a parent, recognizing that this is a part of the process and practicing patience and flexibility conveys acceptance and permission to safely explore.

When possible, validate and normalize that exploration can be both an exciting and understandably overwhelming developmental milestone. Acknowledge the challenges your teen may face and provide reassurance that it's okay to feel uncertain at times. Finally (and equally important), remember to give yourself grace as you navigate this journey, too.

 

Warmly,

Chelsea Crowe 

AMFT #129977

APCC # 10396

she/her

Coping With Responsibilities When You're Stressed Out

Ivy Griffin

Have you been feeling worn down, burned out, or exhausted to your very core? Most of us have been there, we’re there right now, or we’ll be there again. As Hemingway wrote, “the world breaks everyone.” Being human means that we’ll know loss and struggle, that there’ll be times when life goes along smoothly and times when it’s all we can do to slowly inch our way forward.

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What Your Therapist Wants You To Know

Ivy Griffin

Therapy is not a straightforward process. It can be challenging and downright painful at times, but can also be profoundly healing. While I hope that all therapeutic relationships contain a free flow of information and feedback between therapist and client, this too can be complicated, and we might benefit from some simple suggestions from a therapist’s perspective. To that end, I wanted to share some thoughts and encouragement that may provide some clarity and even improve your experience of therapy. 

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Your Teen's Communication Style

Ivy Griffin

Think about a recent conversation you had with your teenager - especially if the topic was a difficult one to broach or one with a history of tension or conflict. Did it feel tough to “get through” to your teen? Or perhaps the attempt to check in lead to an explosive fight, after which you find yourself seething and thinking (or, let’s face it, yelling) “how dare you talk to me that way!” Everyone has a different approach, or primary style, to navigating communication and conflict. Which one is your teen’s go-to?

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Sensitivity vs. Weakness

Ivy Griffin

What comes to mind when you think of someone who is described as “sensitive”? Something in the realm of overly emotional, weak, or fragile? If so, you’re not alone. In a world that often glorifies toughness, sensitivity is frequently misunderstood and sometimes even dismissed as a flaw. But here’s the truth: sensitivity is not a liabilityit’s a strength that allows people to process the world deeply, form meaningful connections, and navigate life with heightened awareness.

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Double Edged Swords in Therapy

Ivy Griffin

When Our Greatest Strengths Become Our Weaknesses

“Strengths identification” tends to be a key component when initially starting therapy. However, not every client is educated on the concept of double edged swords. A double edge sword is a metaphor used to describe something that has both positive and negative qualities. In therapy a strength that is a double edged sword is a strength that in healthy doses can bolster us and lift us up but in excess can cause conflict and discord in our life

Take persistence for example - In healthy doses, persistence helps us improve follow-through, achieve personal goals, builds confidence, teaches us to navigate set backs, and improves comfort in attempting self advocacy. In excess, persistence can become stubbornness. This can lead to an inability to hear or internalize other points of view, stunt growth, has the potential to damage relationships, and can lead to feelings of isolation.

Understanding what strength is your double edge sword can be helpful in supporting you in moving through the world more mindfully; which is often a core objective in therapy. Often as we get older and move further into our life, we start leaning into certain strengths more out of habit. We stop actively considering if it is the appropriate tool for the job, and pick it up because it feels comfortable which can be a disservice to ourselves and others.

By stopping and considering what our strengths are and how we use them we create more opportunities for ourselves to be an active participant in our own lives. This in turn helps us feel like we have more control, and helps reduce the amount of regret we experience as our actions better align with our core values, which adds an air of authenticity to our lives. So as we enter the new year I encourage you to identify one strength you have that is a double edged sword and try practicing using it with more mindful intention for 2025.

With warm regards,

Megan Bell, LMFT # 114303

Thrive Therapy & Counseling

2131 Capitol Ave, Suite 306

Sacramento, CA, 95816

she/her

Finding Yourself When the World Feels Overwhelming

Ivy Griffin

Let’s be honest. Being a teenager right now is hard. You’re coming of age during a time of intense political threat, global challenges, and constant social pressure. The world feels like it’s spinning faster than ever, and somehow, you’re supposed to figure out who you are in the middle of the chaos.

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Balancing Empathy and Self-Care: The Cycle of Over-Attunement to Others

Ivy Griffin

Empathy is a wonderful and essential human trait. It allows us to connect with others, offer

support, and foster meaningful relationships. But for those who tend to be over-attuned to

others, a common trait in highly sensitive people, empathy can sometimes feel more like a

burden than a gift. Over-attunement refers to an excessive focus on other people’s

emotions, often at the expense of one’s own needs. This pattern can lead to emotional

exhaustion, resentment, and a sense of losing oneself in relationships. So how can we find

balance? Let’s explore the roots of over-attunement, its impact, and practical strategies for

balancing empathy with self-care.

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Self Compassion for Personal Accountability

Ivy Griffin

If I wasn’t hard on myself, I’d never get anything done. 

I have to be hard on myself to be a good person.

These are some of the most common concerns I hear from people about being more compassionate towards themselves. We have this belief that being hard on ourselves is what allows us to accomplish things and treat others with kindness and respect. But what if I told you that being compassionate towards yourself actually helps you to be a more responsible, mature, and kind person?

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Giving Teens A Choice

Ivy Griffin

As our children shift into preteen and teen years, simple things like completing chores, doing tasks that they always did before sometimes become more difficult. You ask them to do something and you get a big fat NO. Oh god, and it’s so frustrating. Any parent can agree I think. 

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Dealing With Disagreement as a Highly Sensitive Person

Ivy Griffin

It’s no secret that we live in very polarized times. The news and social media are awash with stories of strong views and behavior. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), you may feel reluctant to express disagreement, for fear of upsetting others. Being highly attuned to others’ emotions makes it hard to shrug off intense reactions, especially if they’re directed at you. You feel a strong desire to maintain harmony, but you worry about the impact of staying silent, especially on issues about which you feel strongly. What can you do?

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A Year in Review: Balancing Healthy Self-reflection and the Inner Critic

Ivy Griffin

As 2024 comes to a close many of us are drifting into a state of self reflection, and unfortunately some of us may have noticed that our inner critic is running rampant-excitedly pointing out  all the ways in which we, “failed,” noting all the things we didn’t quite accomplish, or gleefully rubbing our faces into the success of others. Which of course does a number on our mood and self-esteem; not quite the note we would like to end the year on. So how do we balance healthy self-reflection, taking stock of the year that has passed without allowing the Inner Critic room to run rampant?

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If The Winter Gets You Down

Ivy Griffin

It’s that time of year - the days are shorter and shorter, there’s less sunlight and more darkness, the temperature drops. If you’re like me, you may feel an internal dread, an urge to push the winter away and return to sunnier, warmer, longer days. As highly sensitive people, we can be particularly attuned to the change in seasons. This awareness can be really enjoyable when the seasons are shifting in a way we like and can bring a heaviness, an anxiety, or even a foreboding, when they’re changing in ways we don’t like.

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